Prayer and Fasting

Thursday, April 1, 2010

     Sunday started "7 Days of Fasting and Prayer" here at Biltmore Baptist. Bruce called our congregation to come together to fast and pray for the city of Asheville the week leading up to Easter. I have never fasted prior to this week and I chose to do a food fast. I will admit that I was very nervous about this fast as not eating is usually very hard for me. I tried to open up my mind and heart for this time as I know God can move and use a time such as this. Aaron wanted to do a three day fast since he too had never fasted, so I decided to aim to fast for three days. 

I will be honest and say that I made it through two full days and only drank juice and water those days. I didn't get a headache like I thought I would, but I did end up feeling a bit dizzy and felt very tired both days. I did notice my thoughts continually going to food. I noticed how many food commercials were on TV and how good food that doesn't normally sound good seemed. Even though there are certain side affects to fasting, it is ultimately about giving up something in your life and filling up that time by spending it with the Lord. 

Let me be really honest again and say that I didn't have the best attitude during this time of fasting. I felt restricted and sort of forced into this situation. However, I did CHOSE to participate in this week of fasting even if it were only for a portion. One of my character flaws is to go against something I feel pressured or forced into doing. But even though I had a bad attitude, I learned a lot about myself in the process.

In the book "Celebration of Discipline," there is a chapter which addresses fasting. In that chapter is says that during the time of fasting one's vices are shown to the individual. Aaron and I went for a walk at Fletcher park last night and talked about the fast. I discovered that my "vice" is comfort. In my last post I spoke of how I felt very discontent. Aaron said he had been thinking about this and believed that it was less about contentment, but more about comfort. I really have had a comfortable life. That is not to say I haven't had hardships in my life, but overall it has been comfortable.  Having to make new friends makes me feel uncomfortable, living somewhere where I cannot express myself is uncomfortable, not always having something to do is uncomfortable. During this time of fasting, I found that food brings me comfort. I don't eat a ton of food, but I do eat frequently. Not being able to eat was uncomfortable. 

I believe that the Lord is using this time to shape my character. I hope he is anyways. As a member of the staff at BBC, I am placed in a leadership position. This has been a challenge for me as I have always been the following type. However, I feel myself getting stronger and more willing to do more for the Kingdom, even if it is out of my comfort zone. I pray that the Lord will forgive me for the lack of a good attitude during my period of fasting and will use this reflection to shape my character and soul. I see a desperate need in Asheville, NC to know God and hear His Word. I am so thankful that Asheville was the focus of this time of fasting and prayer. The Lord is doing great things in this city and I know He hears the cries of His people. 

Contentment. Or the lack thereof.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

     Lately it seems as if I have been struggling with contentment. I guess I have battled this before, but never to this magnitude and length. When I was younger I could not wait to get out of high school, which eventually turned into college. I would say that is normal and even though I felt that way I really didn't have a choice in the situation. I just accepted my life at the time. I'm not saying those times were bad, I just felt held back by these requirements and wanted to get on with my life. 

     Now I am married and live in Asheville with Aaron. We both have jobs and other responsibilities which keep us busy. We have a decent size apartment and are able to pay our bills and have some left over. We have been completely blessed with our situation now, but for some reason I feel there is a lot left to be desired. 

Asheville is a pretty small big city. There is only so much to do in the winter, and even though I have enjoyed all the snow we have been getting, it always seems to come on a weekend when we are free to explore and get out of our house. On weeknights we pretty much stay home and try to catch some of the TV shows we watch. Not too exciting, I know! But that also happens to be an effort to save money. Having all this time at home would be fine if I were happy with where we are living. I have been active over the past month to start investing in making it feel like our place. Our bedroom actually feels the most comfortable as we have hung curtains, changed our duvet and I got this really awesome wool rug that makes it look so chic. (If you can make an all white apartment look chic.) The other rooms seem to be a mix-match of a bunch of styles. 

I think part of what fueled this discontentment is our initial house search. I am completely happy with our price range, just not happy with from what we have to choose. I did a little research to see what we could get in Nashville (just to see how much a difference there really was) and I was shocked at what we could get in Nashville versus what we could get here. You would expect it to be the opposite. That was really disheartening. Plus, we just weren't finding anything we felt was right for us. We wanted to be able to take advantage of the first time home buyers tax credit, but that won't happen now. It is so very important to us to have a home where others can stay with us, where we have enough room to have people over, and where we have enough room for a growing family. We truly believe where we live is God's house and we want to use it to glorify Him. We want to have our doors "open" and always be ready for anything that comes our way.

I feel as if this discontentment won't go away until I feel settled here. To me being settled looks like having a house, not living in an apartment. It seems like I haven't been settled for some time, having lived in two apartments in LA in two years that I had to move out of after only ten months. My living situation in Asheville feels temporary and that makes staying in Asheville feel even more temporary. I want this place to start feeling like home instead of somewhere I am going to be for only a little while. 

My discontentment is not only from our living situation. I have a creative side that has not been met in quite a while. As I mentioned in my previous post, we have an extra room we are trying to convert to an office space. This takes time as we don't have some key furniture pieces just yet to make it function. I know when we get this space to the way we want it I will have more of a drive to work on my art. 

I hope this does not sound like I am complaining. Well, maybe I am just a little bit, but I know that I should, and need to be, content with what God has given me. He has blessed us more than we could imagine. I am working on finding peace and happiness in this situation and time of discontentment. I know the Lord will help me through this and that He knows my desires even more than I do. 

So, is there anything about which you have been feeling discontent? What do you do to cope with feeling this way? I look forward to hearing from you

February is the new January

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I just cannot believe it is 2010. Even though it is already February, January went by way too fast.  It seems there is something about this year that is making people really think about how they are living their lives and dedicating (at least right now) themselves to making this year better than the last. We did take a lot of hits as a nation in 2009. I know I am certainly happy to have a "fresh start" with the new year. Normally I don't make "resolutions" because I know myself well enough to know I can get easily distracted and not keep the resolutions I set for myself. I just avoid the disappointment I will feel against myself altogether. This year, however, I do not see anything wrong with setting some goals for myself in the next year. I like that word better anyways. So here are my goals for 2010. 

1) I want to grow deeper in my walk with Christ. I have grown SO MUCH this past year. I have been challenged in ways I have never been challenged before and I LOVED it. I absolutely LOVE when God tests my faith because I am always amazed at how He works things out. He always blows me away. 

2) I want to grow greater in love and respect for my husband. Aaron and I have never had an "easy" year in the time we have been together. We have learned that the hard times can either make us stronger or break us down. In this next year I am committing myself to my marriage. Right now we are in the foundation building stage of our marriage. If we do not come together now, the rest may be a little shaky. 

3) I want to return to my creative side. Since I started my job back in late September, I haven't worked on my jewelry or my photography. Aaron and I are dedicated to creating a space for the both of us so I can pursue my arts and he can possibly take on some freelance projects. We have an extra room and we feel like we need to be using for more than just storage. By the way, if you are getting rid of furniture, especially bookcases and side chairs, let us know! 

4) I want to work really hard to save as much money as possible. Lately I have really gotten into reading and learning ways to save money on everyday needs. We have student loans and we want to pay them off as soon as possible and saving money in these areas will help with that. We are thinking ahead as Aaron and I don't want to wait too long before having our first baby. We want to get into the best financial situation before then. 

5) I want to blog more. I know, it's my own fault that I don't. I really enjoy blogging and I think of ideas I want to share all the time. I just have to commit the time to doing so. Hopefully when we get our office into working order, there will be more incentive to do so. 

These are my goals for 2010. I hope you have looked at your life and set goals for yourself as well. I would love to hear from you about what goals you are setting for the new year. 

Part 2: The Wedding

Thursday, November 5, 2009

On August 14th, 2008, Aaron and I got engaged at Cheekwood Botanical Gardens. We had talked about getting engaged in December '08, so I wasn't expecting it until then. Needless to say, I was so very surprised when Aaron asked me to marry him on that day. The funny thing about that day, though, was that we had dinner plans that evening with one of Aaron's childhood friends and his parents. Aaron wanted to go to Cheekwood to "take pictures" and I was not happy about that as we didn't have enough time. I didn't talk to Aaron the whole way there. I was surprised that he kept insisting that we were going as, if I am that adamant about something, he will hear me out. But he wasn't this time. In the end, I was one very happy woman.

My whole senior year of college was spent planning the wedding. We decided on July 25th, 2009 as the day we would be married. I had a ton of help from family and friends. They searched for churches and made so many visits. They looked for reception locations and made so many visits to these places, too. They helped me find my wedding dress, hand make some of the decorations (like the chandeliers you will see later), and helped me get everything set up the day before the wedding. It was such a crazy year, but it made it made it even more special.

My goal with the wedding was for it to truly reflect Aaron and I and to not do the same thing everyone else does for their weddings. I was okay with the church being decorated a bit understated as the sanctuary itself was gorgeous. I didn't want my hair to be fussy. I wanted to look the way I usually do. I didn't want Aaron to not recognize me on our wedding day, but to see the girl he sees everyday.

The day of the wedding, I was much more calm than I thought I would be. Even after getting ready and having my pictures taken, I was calm. Up until the moment I was about to walk down that aisle, I was calm. I got a few butterflies right before I went down, but that was only because I was worried I would say the wrong thing, or trip or something.

The whole ceremony went off without any problems. It went by so fast. But I enjoyed it. I think that's all that matters.

With every wedding there is always stories about things that happen that people remember. With our wedding, we will always remember the Monday before the wedding Brenda, Aaron's mom, having to have emergency eye surgery. She is fully healed now and we are so thankful. God was so good to us during that time. She was able to come to the Bridal Luncheon, the Rehearsal Dinner, and the Wedding. Then there are the smaller things, like the hook on the back of my dress not being there on the day of the wedding. It had come undone and fallen off at some point. Tiffany (my day of coordinator) had to sew me into my dress. Also, one of my flower girls, Sophie (my cousin), almost didn't go down the aisle. She cried on and off during the hour before the wedding. She said she was scared. And, in her defense, that had been the first time she was a flower girl. I think at four years old, I would have been a bit scared, too. But she made it! I was so proud.

I had the most fun at our reception. It was so good to be with our friends from high school and college again. And to be in the same place with all of them was the best! I danced more that I ever did at a prom. It was such a fun evening. It was a bit hot :), but I didn't care.

It was a day that we will both remember forever. I could not have been any happier with how it went. It was a beautiful day and we are truly blessed by our awesome God!

Part 1: Moving to Asheville

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

So, I thought I would start out by filling in everyone about all that has happened over the past several months. And let me tell you, a LOT has happened. First, we have to start with how we ended up in Asheville, North Carolina.

In May, Aaron and I graduated from LMU. It was such a bitter sweet time as we were graduating (thank you Lord! seriously) and we were preparing to leave our friends and our second home behind. Aaron had been searching for a job in Los Angeles since March and when graduation time came, there had been no bites. Lots of people interested, but no money to make a commitment to him at the time. So we threw all our stuff into a storage unit (as we still were expecting to move to Los Angeles) and headed back to Nashville.

When we got back to Nashville, Aaron and I both started looking for jobs during the summer. We had been there a couple of weeks when one Saturday night as Aaron and I were watching a movie waiting on a pizza, Aaron got a phone call from a man named Carl from Biltmore Baptist Church in Asheville, NC. During that conversation we found out that they had gotten Aaron's name from Maurilio Amorim, a very close friend of Billy and Brenda's and the owner of The A Group. Carl pretty much made it seem like they wanted to hire Aaron immediately. We were completely surprised and overwhelmed at this phone call. Especially since it came on a weekend.

Aaron and I had not even considered North Carolina. I mean, why would we? The plan was for us to move to Los Angeles. But what we didn't know is that God had other plans for us.

Aaron continued to speak with Carl and a couple of weekends later were able to drive to Asheville to visit the church and to meet Carl and the Lead Pastor, Bruce Frank. They took care of our lodging, bought most of our meals, and even had a welcome basket waiting for us in one of our hotel rooms. It was pretty weird for us to be courted by a church; however, we felt so welcomed and felt the excitement and the passion of Biltmore Baptist. It was definitely not the "baptist" church we both knew.

While we were there, we learned exactly how the church had found out about Aaron. In Aaron's attempt to find work over the summer, Aaron emailed Maurilio to see if he knew of any churches that might need some help as Maurilio's business mainly works with non-profits, especially churches. Aaron was thinking a local church and doing some freelance work for them. Maurilio was actually at a lunch meeting with Bruce Frank one day and Bruce mentioned to him that they really wanted to up the quality of the video and technical department and wanted to find someone who could create videos for them that would tell a story. We were told that literally a little over a mnute went by when Maurilio received Aaron's email. Maurilio responded to Aaron that he might have a contact, but we didn't really think too much of it at the time.

Aaron and I had been talking a lot about this decision that we faced. Go to Asheville, North Carolina and Aaron work as a video director and leave behind LA? Or move to LA where our friends were and back to a city that we had both grown to love? After hearing from Bruce how they learned of Aaron, we were pretty sure what our decision would be if they offered him the job. They had seen his website and LOVED his work. They just wanted to meet him at that point.

A week and a half later, Aaron was offered the job, he accepted, and he and his father were on a plane to LA to clean out the storage unit and ship some stuff to Asheville. A few days after that, we were loading a moving truck and my family, Aaron and I were headed to Asheville to move Aaron into our apartment. It was such a crazy time. Aaron worked for a month and then came back to Nashville the Sunday before the wedding.

Even though moving to Asheville wasn't in our plans, we know that God wanted us here and directed our paths here. He has provided so much for us with this change. We truly felt Him calling us to Asheville. We do struggle with some things from time to time, like finding friends that are our age and dealing with a bit of boredom. (Asheville is a city BIG on outdoor activities, which we don't mind at all. It just starts to slow down a bit as it starts to cool off. Plus, we are not used to this "cool" weather.) But God has started to bless us with friends and we are on a list to be apart of a Home Connect Group (small group) since we aren't able to participate in the Connect Groups on Sunday mornings since Aaron works. The Home Connect Groups are for couples only and meet during the week. We are super excited. We haven't really been too involved in anything since high school, mainly because there was nothing offered, but we know we will be blessed by the great community Biltmore has created through their Connect Groups.

Healthy Eating

Monday, April 20, 2009

Over the past couple of months I have been trying to get in the habit of using fresh organic vegetables in as many meals I make as possible. I usually buy fresh vegetables, but don't use them in a timely manner and then they end up spoiling. Same goes for fruits. So now, I buy less fruit and use the vegetables faster.  I feel as if it is my responsibility to Aaron and my future family to prepare meals that are wholesome and are filled with vitamins. I also try to mix up the meals too so I don't serve the same meal over and over. But I am working on this also. 

Website Updated

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I just updated my website and put up my thesis photographs. I also included my artist statement. It is certainly not like seeing the work in person, but it gives you an idea. The images in real life are actually very small. You can visit www.audreyheatherly.com to view my work. More updates to hopefully happen soon.

Fade Out : Fade In

Thursday, April 9, 2009

After tomorrow, I will officially have only three weeks of classes and one week of finals left in this semester. It is exciting and very frightening all at the same time. I have been looking forward to this moment for four years and this is a huge accomplishment for me. When I started college, and the year leading up to it, I was not convinced I would pull through as well as I have. I knew deep down that I would make it out because so many others had done so before me. Looking back I think I could have studied a bit harder, been involved in more activities, and pushed myself to be more active in general. But, I believe that in the context of the last four years I did the best I could given the situations at the time. I made the best decisions I could, and pushed myself when I wanted to quit or crawl in bed and get some sleep or when if I got one more email I was going to delete my account. 

This past year has been the hardest year of my life so far, both physically and emotionally. I honestly can say I made it through last semester only by the huge graciousness of God. He also blessed me by helping me make the Dean's list. My mom showed me the letter I received only a few days after I had left Nashville for LA after Christmas Break. I want to have it framed as a reminder of what hard work will accomplish. I am very proud of that letter. 

In my mind I am preparing to go back to Nashville and hopefully work my little behind off so I can save us some money. I am also getting ready for the mental transition out of "student" and into career woman, artist, and wife. Three very loaded roles. I also have to start going through all of my things in preparation for Aaron and I's move to LA. I guess since Aaron will probably be staying in LA I will have to tackle his belonging too. Although, he doesn't really have too much. 

The senior exhibition will be opening this weekend. I am super excited. I was planning on getting my pieces fully installed this evening, but I have to get some of the wired moved around and to do that I have to take them back to the place I got them framed. I also noticed that one of the prints has something on it so I am going to have to get that reprinted in the morning and then have them replace the image with the new one. Something happened to the image at the framer and I just noticed it as I was cleaning the glass. 

I keep forgetting this weekend is Easter. It just isn't the same without being with family. We get Good Friday off from school which doesn't effect me because I do not have classes on Fridays anyways. In the South, religion is truly a part of the everyday. Here it is not. I miss that feeling. I hate that I am not continually thinking about Easter and what it means and celebrating with my family. My family always does something big for the holidays. That is one thing I will truly miss, but hope to continue with my own children, even if it is only with our church family or friend family. 

Simply Inspired

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Lately I have been very unmotivated and uninspired. I have been told so much the past few years what to create and how I should create it and I am really tired of doing what others think I should do. I am ready to do what I want to do and create what I want to create. 

I had a very refreshing and encouraging conversation with Aaron's dad, Billy, last night via Facebook. I think overall the conversation gave me courage and confidence in myself and in my work. I do believe that my work can improve, and it will with time. However, I truly believe that if I love my work, others will too. If I do not like what I create, how could I expect others to like it too? I can only stand by an image I find beautiful and worthy of recognition. 

Since this conversation last night, I have felt liberated from these ties I felt holding me down. God blesses us with gifts and talents for a reason and I hope and pray that He will use them in a big way. I even has a great idea come to me as I was looking around the internet today. I don't want to say what it is yet, but I think you will like it. :)

I thought I would post the few images I took before Aaron proposed to me at Cheekwood. I could take photographs there all day. :) They are not great works of art, but it is neat to have a record of the things I was finding beautiful on that day. 

Back in Nashville

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Here I am. Back in Nashville and it feels so good. It is kind of a weird experience this time around because we are shooting Aaron's senior thesis this first weekend back and we brought with us two friends from college to be the sound engineer and an assistant camera. It is odd to see them in a place that is so familiar to me (but becoming foreign) out of the college context from which I see them on a daily basis. But it has been an absolute blast and we couldn't have imagined having a better team than we have for this documentary. 

Being back home, I do feel more in my element. I feel more like myself here. More like I can be myself here. Los Angeles has a certain standard to which I do not feel that I measure up. However, I am preparing for the upcoming permanent move that will occur in August. I don't think I could live there all my life. I am a southern girl living in a modern, fast paced, provocative and liberal city. 

While in town, Aaron and I have a ton of stuff to get done for the wedding. It will be a lot of fun, but it will just cause our spring break to be very busy. I wish I had more to say. I am also working on my senior thesis, as well as working on my Color Photography final project. I will be exploring abandoned domestic spaces if I can find the locations. If not, I will continue to explore abandoned spaces, possibly in the desert in Cali. My professor, Diane, is always so helpful and encouraging to her students to truly explore and shoot what they are interested in. She does not block our creativity and desires when it comes to our own work. Which, as seniors, is exactly the kind of guidance we should be receiving. 

Moving Forward

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

We finally have a reception location! Yea! We lost the gallery in the Factory, but being on the other end of this loss I know that it was a God thing. My Aunt Sherry found a wonderful space in Marathon Village downtown. It has a beautiful view of the skyline of Nashville and the reception will be around the time of sunset. I think it will bring in some great light. We see this venue as a blessing from God.  

He has proven to be very faithful in providing for us during this whole wedding planning process. At the beginning of this whole process, I felt a lot of pressure for my wedding look a certain way and that there were certain expectations with my choices. After awhile, I just gave this time and day to God as it is a day he has created anyways. I  believe the results will be even more wonderful than if I had attempted to do it all myself. I can become a bit controlling when it comes to this sort of thing, especially if it is supposed to be a reflection on me. I think I have learned to let some things go and enjoy this planning time. Many people have said to me that they wish they had enjoyed the planning time more. I have taken that to heart. 

Some other things going on around here are Aaron is in the AIGA Emerge show at the new student gallery. It is a PSA motion graphics video he and his partner Grant made for their Creative Direction class last semester. The opening reception is on Saturday night and we are planning on attending the event. Should be a lot of fun. 

Aaron and I are also working on his documentary. I am producing the doc for him. (Basically taking care of the permits, insurance...paper work that is involved.) We will be filming it over spring break. I am super excited. It has been over a year since I have worked on something like this. 

This semester, Aaron and I decided to take a Jewelry class together. I had always wanted to take the class, but the time was what held me back, (Tuesday and Thursday 7:15-10pm) I am really glad that I did because I am loving it. We are just about finished with our first projects. I will post pictures soon. I love working with my hands and it brings a lot of gratification when you finish a project you have been working on for four weeks. 

I am more involved with the student art gallery that opened this past fall. Students are able to apply for a show and the students that run the gallery decide who they would like to show. This semester they made a class out of the group and I was able to finally get plugged in more with the gallery. I was so busy last semester that I did not have enough time needed to be dedicated. We are learning how to properly install works of art. We worked on a contract that will be used between the gallery and the artists so everyone knows what is expected. Next week we will be discussing show layout. I have really enjoyed the experience and I know that it will be useful in the near future. 

I am still working hard as the Business Manager at ROAR. We are currently looking for people to train to take over my position in the fall. All but two people on our executive staff are seniors and will be leaving after this year. Tonight we filmed and directed live an event that the Los Angeles Loyolan puts on every year called First Amendment Week. They have different speakers and events throughout a week discussing topics and current issues. Tonight the keynote speaker, Karl Rove, was on campus and spoke to LMU students. I was not able to hear him talk because of class. (I was able to see him when he came into the building) I have heard from my sources that there were a few "excited" people in the crowd. I know there were protesters outside the building before the event. I will not be able to see the footage until tomorrow. I cannot wait.