Thursday, April 1, 2010
Sunday started "7 Days of Fasting and Prayer" here at Biltmore Baptist. Bruce called our congregation to come together to fast and pray for the city of Asheville the week leading up to Easter. I have never fasted prior to this week and I chose to do a food fast. I will admit that I was very nervous about this fast as not eating is usually very hard for me. I tried to open up my mind and heart for this time as I know God can move and use a time such as this. Aaron wanted to do a three day fast since he too had never fasted, so I decided to aim to fast for three days.
I will be honest and say that I made it through two full days and only drank juice and water those days. I didn't get a headache like I thought I would, but I did end up feeling a bit dizzy and felt very tired both days. I did notice my thoughts continually going to food. I noticed how many food commercials were on TV and how good food that doesn't normally sound good seemed. Even though there are certain side affects to fasting, it is ultimately about giving up something in your life and filling up that time by spending it with the Lord.
Let me be really honest again and say that I didn't have the best attitude during this time of fasting. I felt restricted and sort of forced into this situation. However, I did CHOSE to participate in this week of fasting even if it were only for a portion. One of my character flaws is to go against something I feel pressured or forced into doing. But even though I had a bad attitude, I learned a lot about myself in the process.
In the book "Celebration of Discipline," there is a chapter which addresses fasting. In that chapter is says that during the time of fasting one's vices are shown to the individual. Aaron and I went for a walk at Fletcher park last night and talked about the fast. I discovered that my "vice" is comfort. In my last post I spoke of how I felt very discontent. Aaron said he had been thinking about this and believed that it was less about contentment, but more about comfort. I really have had a comfortable life. That is not to say I haven't had hardships in my life, but overall it has been comfortable. Having to make new friends makes me feel uncomfortable, living somewhere where I cannot express myself is uncomfortable, not always having something to do is uncomfortable. During this time of fasting, I found that food brings me comfort. I don't eat a ton of food, but I do eat frequently. Not being able to eat was uncomfortable.
I believe that the Lord is using this time to shape my character. I hope he is anyways. As a member of the staff at BBC, I am placed in a leadership position. This has been a challenge for me as I have always been the following type. However, I feel myself getting stronger and more willing to do more for the Kingdom, even if it is out of my comfort zone. I pray that the Lord will forgive me for the lack of a good attitude during my period of fasting and will use this reflection to shape my character and soul. I see a desperate need in Asheville, NC to know God and hear His Word. I am so thankful that Asheville was the focus of this time of fasting and prayer. The Lord is doing great things in this city and I know He hears the cries of His people.
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